Not so "Perfect Peace"

The name of this blog and the picture at the top are reflective of things that give me such wonderful peace.  The scent of lilacs in the spring is one of many reminders of how much God loves me, because He knows I love lilacs.  I spend as much time as I can by windows or outside when the lilacs are in bloom because of their wonderful scent.

There are times, however, that the "perfect peace" that I so long for and desire are so very far away from me, like now.  No, I've not posted this to complain, to place blame on anyone, to judge, whine or post any type of temper tantrum.  No, nothing like that.  Very far from it in fact.

My heart and my soul has been crying out to God for the sake of my extended family for a variety of reasons.  I know they may, by some small chance read here, so out of respect for them I'll be vague.

Firstly, my nephew Billy was born on September 24th at 35.5 weeks gestation.  He has been so very sick and needing care and attention from his mother who doesn't have the ability to be at the hospital for more than a few hours a day.  This makes my own momma's heart hurt. 

What a beautiful baby he is!

I wish so much that I could be there to take every other responsibility off her shoulders just so she could go spend entire days with baby Billy.  No, I wouldn't take her place at the hospital.  If I could, I would fly out, stay in a motel, rent a vehicle and take care of all the other stuff that is keeping her from her little baby.  I've tried putting the word out to other family members and friends.  Many are just as strapped as my brother and SIL. 

My mother is at the hospital when my SIL cannot be, but just for a little while.  The trailer where she was living with her 2 little dogs had been put up for sale and she had to move back in with my sister...to an already strained relationship where there is bunches of anger, hurt and most likely bitterness and resentment.  How I wish I could help more than I am, but I'm 2,000 miles away.  We've had some rather large bills to pay the past 2 months (increased from last year--isn't that how it goes?), and have nothing extra where I could go out to help her move.  I am feeling pretty helpless right now.

While I think and consider all the struggles (and there are much more that isn't written) that my extended family are going through and praying for all of them, this stress that I feel is added to by the things that are going on here under my own roof.  Then I step back and pray and try to gain some perspective.  The issues of my husband stopping breathing in his sleep are on the way to being discovered and dealt with.  My daughter's nose bleeds are being dealt with.  My oldest son's stomach issues are on their way to being no longer existent.  His allergy issues are just another part of life.  My own back issues are being taken care of.  Schooling continues, lesson planning for home school group continues, piano lessons continue, chemistry and math, Victry Drill and Sequential Speller continue to make progress. 

I was asked at the beginning of September how everything is going with us.  I started sharing how things are coming along and this person's husband said, "And I thought my problems were bad!"  I started thinking about that simple comment and thought to myself, "This isn't really anything major.  It is just a part of life.  This is what we just deal with as it comes."  There are lots of people who have things worse than we do, so I don't think about it.  We just deal with it, take it in stride, accept it, and move on.  Humor and laughter helps when you're sitting in a doctor's office waiting for a doctor to come in with their virdict on what is going on with your son's stomach.  (btw...he didn't know, but called it "irritable bowel") 

Then there are the spiritual struggles that try to rip us apart from within, inside our home.  Hence, the ripping we know who the author is, so we just pray against it.  The spiritual battle is always raging, always there, so we have to claim that territory as victorious for the sake of Christ. 

Please keep us in prayer for these spiritual battles are raging and we want Christ's victory over them.  For our physical health, for answers.  For our extended family for someone to come and give physical help to them in the form of hands to help.