Considering the Future

My husband and I are beginning to consider what our lives will be like once our young folks sprout wings and leave our nest.  We are looking at downsizing our home, even though we just moved here last year.  We are looking at possibly having more property, even though it means more work to do the things we'd like to do.

We're realizing that we are limited with how much activity we can participate in at church living almost an hour away.  The special things that happen on days other than Sundays and Wednesdays simply cannot be attended because it isn't just a short jaunt over to the church or to a Couple's Night with our dear folks in our Sunday School class whom we've grown to love.  So we pray.  We'll find out soon enough what the Lord's will is for this as we lay this at His feet.  There is a lot to consider and even still, we consider the necessity of selling our current house when the time comes too.  Lots to consider.

We're realizing that we will be physically limited with how much we can accomplish on a daily basis due to the fact that our young folks will be out of the nest.  I mentioned to my husband that we could get him a good tractor (not to be confused with "new") with accessories that would help him do the work that is needful without needing one or more of the kids around to do it.  But, the other things, like putting up fences or things like that, if course we'd ask the kids to come help.

We're realizing that we'll need a house with 2 master bedroom/bathrooms just in case there is a need for one of our parents to move in with us.  Additionally, we're looking at building an apartment over a garage just in case our oldest son needs a place.  That will give him his own space and as much autonomy as possible.

We've talked about "puttering" with our days on the property.  We've talked about having a garden and having fruit trees and selling the produce.  We've talked about going to different festivals with things that we make to sell.

It's a sweet thought for us to have things like this in mind for our future.  I don't want anything ornate, but simple and all one level, but nothing too big.  I want to be able to have family and friends over to love on them.  I want to bless others and serve the Lord with my husband.

"Ponder the path of your feet, and all your ways will be established." 

(Pro 4:26)

In Christ,

Covenant Marriage By Gary Chapman

If you look along the left side bar, under the topic of "Marriage" you will find the book Covenant Marriage by Gary Chapman.  A few years ago I purposed to read a couple books a year in each category you see on the left for a couple reasons.  Firstly, admittedly, I don't know everything.  I am one of the biggest sinners on the face of the earth who is in need of the saving grace of Jesus Christ my Lord.  I need Him daily.  I can't do for myself what only He can do for me, so why not accept it and rest in that knowledge.



I had grown up in a traditional worldview mentality of marriage where if it is broke, just throw it away and try again.  People were looking out for themselves and not communicating with one another.  There were lots of hurt feelings, selfish accusations, and willingness to throw love away and move on to the next one.  Although it wasn't spoken, many of my relatives--grandparents during WW2, to my aunt who had many children-each with different fathers, to my own parents who between the 2 of them have been married 5 times.  Myself, I've been married twice.  With all the hurt and manipulation of my first marriage, I knew when I got married again that I wanted it to be for life.

I wanted marriage to last, but how when I didn't have the examples of what that looked like?  Where do I look?  There was only one problem--Where do I start and what is it called?  When I started looking around, in the past 17+ years, I'd found all kinds of books on 5 Love Languages, Venus and Mars, being a Powerful Praying Wife, Courtship, Respect and Love and the list continued.  While I had read all of those books, I just did not know or understand what it was that I had been seeking.  I was looking for something that was higher and greater than the traditional worldview of marriage--something more connecting, and spiritual.

When I started reading Covenant Marriage, I figured I would read a little bit each night and be done with it in a couple of weeks.  That was not the case.  There were times when I was just upset with my husband, not fully wanting to read, in a bad mood, had a stressful day and the excuses continued.  It wasn't until the past couple of weeks that life pretty much forced me to take a book with me to these appointments that I had to wait for an incredible amount of time for them to be completed, so I brought my books and my knitting.  I knitted until my carpal tunnel issues bothered me and stopped to read.  I found myself needing more with every chapter I read.  I was soaking up not just communication, but how I have not been so aware about myself before trying to communicate how I was feeling or what my own needs were.  This caused quite a few misunderstandings which could have been circumvented if I had just taken the time to read that book sooner.  Regardless, it was time to get moving on it.

Now I am on chapter 10 and I fully anticipate being completely through it by the end of this month, if not sooner.  I will update when I finish.  I promise.

Have you read this book?  Please share your thoughts on it!

God Bless,

Post Christmas Decorating

We took all of our Christmas decorations down and put them all away a few days ago.  Shortly after seeing the drabness of no color, I decided to grab my knitting needles and some bright aqua cotton yarn and went to work.  I have my fabric ready to get to work on my dining room curtains, completely with bright aqua in it, so it was perfect!

The needles are size 11 Caspian wood needles from knitpicks like the ones you'll find here:

Just click the picture...

I bought one set of these needles in size 11 as a gift to myself for finishing a large project.  They were well worth the money!  I love how the cotton slides so wonderfully off my needles.

I love decorating my house.  This house particularly is quite the blank slate.  The walls in our bedroom will be a light butter cream color with darker accents.  I just need to work on the sticky stuff on the walls with Goo Gone.  I have a couple areas done, now I need to move on and get more done.  Unfortunately, once I come out of our bedroom in the morning, it is very seldom that I return until evening bed time.  I need to be sure to work on our hide away, making sure to situate it and make it beautiful and inviting for me and my love.  I've found some beautiful things to put over the head of our bed, bought them for us for Christmas and now I just need to find a weathered/antiqued board for the shelf.

Once we get our bedroom painted, these will go over our headboard.  I am adding lovely and beautiful things that celebrate our marriage in our hideaway.  Why?  So it will be a peaceful haven and sanctuary from the world for the two of us to find solace.  I hope to finish the bedroom in one month, complete with curtains, paint, clean, neat and tidy furniture (with the help of my husband ;0) ) and moving on to another room.  LOL

I am so excited to get these changes done.  

To be continued...

God Bless,

Albany Bound

It is currently Friday the 8th.  My Mr. G has been retired from his job for almost 24 hours and he is resting today.  He may be resting tomorrow and the next day too, who knows?!   After a job protecting all of us from the dregs of society for 21 years, he is much deserving of a rest.  He needs to rest his mind and his spirit.  He has needed this break for a very long time and it has come at the best time for him.

All that said, our family and home is facing some very important changes in the not so distant future.

We are moving from Pennsylvania to Albany, Georgia.  Through the course of events, the Lord has directed our paths to Albany.  What are those events?  Some of them are blatant, others are subtle.  If you're interested, I will definitely share with you.  It truly is amazing.

What do we plan to do in Albany?  For starters, fix up a house.  During that time, we'll be involved in Civil Air Patrol with our kids, as well as one (or more) of the many homeschool groups in the area, and serving in church goes without saying.

Other things we plan to do is to rekindle the bond that Mr. G and I have for our marriage.  With Mr. G working in the line of work he had been, the issue remained that there has been a great brick wall between us.  We have been married for twenty-five years, twenty-one of those being that he has served as a corrections officer.  That is a very long time for that brick wall in its various heights and thicknesses as well as knocking it down.  Throughout all this time, we've struggled to keep our relationship alive and growing.  Now, we'll be pursuing one another and with God's help, creating greater deeper spiritual connections that have been sorely lacking, having been put on the back burner for so long.  This distance and disconnect is something that occurs with this line of work with many marriages.  Many times out of a sheer survival mechanism, our loved ones who work in these places shut down a part of themselves to simply protect their heart and mind from the horrid events they witness daily.  It is time for us to water our garden.

Now is a time of healing not just for us, but for our children, too.  One of the things that comes out more flagrantly from a person who works with the dregs of society for so long, unfortunately, is anger and impatience.  Our children have witnessed the anger and impatience.  While with time Mr.G has mellowed, with counseling and prayer, he's become more patient and his anger has subsided a bit.  The further away we get from his job, literally and figuratively, the more relaxed he becomes and the walls come down.  I've seen this happen temporarily while we're on vacation over the years.  I suspect that there will be a time of healing and with healing comes regeneration.  With regeneration comes growth.  It is my hope that this experience will bring us closer together now that we're on this side of his employment experience, but I also hope that the Lord redeems the time the locusts have eaten and that Mr. G and his kids can grow together in the repairing of their relationship too.

This is one of the main reasons we're moving to Georgia.  For most of us our move is met with excitement and an air of "let's get-r-done," but for another it is difficult because of leaving friends.  Your prayers would be appreciated for our family through this change and while we continue to heal, repair, and grow.

God Bless,

When One Spouse Has Been UnSaved

Disclosure Statement:  This post is real, brutally, gut wrenchingly honest and posted WITH permission by my husband.  You will laugh, you will probably cry---much like I have.  And, most likely, you will rejoice to see what wonderful work God has done.  And, this is long, so bear with me.

Ideally, when two Christian people come together, agree to be married and fall in love, they are what Christian circles call "evenly yoked."  In an ideal world, this is what that marriage would simulate--

The work done together is for glorifying God and the couple moves closer together as they move closer to God.

When one has an UNsaved spouse, things look a bit differently, and each situation will be just a bit different with different circumstances.  But much of what you'll see is excuses, whether valid excuses or not, they're still there.  Sometimes the excuses are selfish pride based.  Other times they are timing based like, "When I retire", "When the kids are out of the house" and infinitum.

Then, there are the times when the Lord chooses to "prune" the other spouse.  Yes, the "saved" spouse gets worked on by God.  Yes I'm still looking back and trying to make sense of it all.  But, the best I can tell,

John 15:2  He cuts off every branch that does not produce fruit in me, and he cuts back every branch that does produce fruit, so that it might produce more fruit. [emphasis mine]

How does a Heavenly pruning sound?  That is EXACTLY what it took for me to surrender.  I had a ruptured disc in my lower lumbar area.  The gelantinous material oozed out in a way that it just barely touched the left side of my spinal cord and caused me to be on my hands and knees in pain for 48 hours.  No shots would help, no chiropractic care would help, no hot water, ice pack, nothing would help.  I called the assistant pastor who brought 5 other people who prayed over me at 8:30PM on February 4th, 2001.  At 8:37PM, I got up and stood without pain.  God was teaching me, molding me and showing me through that circumstance that not only did He love me, but He loved me enough to discipline me to bring me in to submission to His will for my life.  He even gave me some not so lovely reminders--"zingers" I called them.  I'd always get them when my heart and mind were not so lovely toward my husband.  Contrary to what one might think, almost 12 years later, I still get them.  It isn't as often, but I'm glad for the painful reminders.  Yes, I said that.  Yes, I am stubborn.  I come from a long line of stubborn Irish folks.  LOL

You see, I begged God for the first 11 years of our marriage to change my husband.  When I read The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, the first chapter was about "His Wife".  That's when I "got it."  I needed to be willing to change, to be molded, pruned and so forth to bring forth much more abundant fruit.  Now, some people might call me "Fruit Loopy", but that's ok.  Go ahead, I can handle it.  Yes, I've made mistakes.  No, I'm not perfectly humbled, pruned or submitted.  I was the saved one who was praying.  That's all God had to work with because I was as rebellious as they came, complete with the mouthy bitter attitude.  Just this week I found myself apologizing to my husband for putting up with me and being such an awful stumbling block for him.  I was not the epitome of a Proverbs 31, Titus 2 or 1 Peter 3 woman at all, but just the opposite!

I could just imagine God looking down on us and saying, "Oh dear, this will never do!  I'm going to have to do some pruning before I can give her the desires of her heart."

 Why?  Well, the best I can tell, it is because the humility [forced at times where situations were beyond my own control and I had to just surrender and pray for God's protection for myself and my children], and meek and quiet spirit needed to endure the years of spiritual unrest, gut wrenching torturous spiritual battle needed to continue.

Did I say that?  

Yes, I did.  

The past two months have been so very torturous for me.  My husband has been addicted to online games, ignoring all of us until his needs of "get me a cup of coffee/water/food" from the kids or intimacy from me needed to be filled.  After he'd leave for work, I'd just cry my eyes out begging God to help me.  I know I felt much like a robot, going through the motions, just getting the every day things done and not much joy, unless it was in my kids and their antics or going to worship, Bible Study or Choir/Bell Choir practice for the holiday season.  Since he works in the afternoons, the practices were almost always then.

What a balm for my soul!  I so needed it!  

Little did I know, the darkest time would come on Christmas day...



...if you would like to read the rest of this story, please email me privately.  My email address is in the left side bar (just add symbols).

This is just the beginning of the story of God's work in our lives.  It's very long and Mr. G doesn't mind sharing it, so please feel free to email me!

Gardens

For the past couple of days, with the new year turning it's page, I've been thinking of gardens, pouring over catalogs that have come in the mail and thinking on some of the beautiful flower gardens I've seen.

Country Farm Lifestyles

Red Dirt Ramblings

Cornell University Flower Gardening Basics

The pictures remind me of the scripture--

Song of Solomon 4:12  "My sweetheart, my bride, is a secret garden, a walled garden, a private spring;"

It amazes me how much literary symbols appear in scripture.  I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise since God is the author.

I absolutely love beautiful flowers, tending them and enjoying their scent as the days go by.

Of course with any garden, you have the clowns.  LOL

Here is another one I find it interesting to consider:

Song of Solomon 2:15  "Catch the foxes, the little foxes, before they ruin our vineyard in bloom."

from Dino Boff

Little foxes?  Yup!  We must be very careful not to let those little foxes in to ruin an area or two in our garden.

Below is a wonderful book that explains the relationship between the garden enclosed and a Godly marriage better than I ever could~

One of the Hazards of Home Schooling

I've had a wonderful time reading all of the book suggestions this school year that we've had while using the materials through Door Posts.  We use Plants Grown Up and Polished Cornerstones for character training, writing, business, finances and as many other topics we can glean from the materials.

This year my oldest son, DA, decided to study the section on "Loving a Wife."  The section begins with memory verses as follows~

Genesis 2:23
Proverbs 18:22
Romans 13:10
1 Corinthians 7:1-5
1 Corinthians 11:3
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Ephesians 5:22-33
Colossians 3:19-21
1 Peter 3:7

When I brought DA's list to my husband to review, I asked him if it would be a good idea for us to read those books before he completes this section.  He agreed.  We do this so that if there are issues that come up in our conversations, we will be fully aware of what they are reading as well as where their questions are originating.

While reading through the section, you would see books like Dating vs. Courtship by Paul Jehle, Christian Manhood by Gary Maldaner, Establishing Biblical Standards of Courtship by ATI [converted to be included in the Wisdom Booklets], Youthful Romance: Scriptural Patterns by Jonathan Lindvall [pamphlet now converted to article online],  Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, and last but certainly not least Preparing for Marriage God's Way by Wayne and Nathan Mack.  This list is in no way exhaustive, but gives you some idea of what needs to be read and studied.

I have read quite a few books this year.  Currently I have at least 5 of them going on at any given time.  I have them tucked in areas where I can access them to read for just a few pages, then move on with other activities.  I've read His Perfect Faithfulness by Eric and Leslie Ludy, Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs, The Love Dare by Alex and Stephen Kendrick and I am currently reading Becoming Heirs Together of the Grace of Life by Jeff and Marge Barth.

You get the idea...

A LOT of reading!

While at the moment, you may be thinking that with all this reading, the reading itself is the hazard which the topic of this blog post is referring.  

Rest assured, the sheer amount of reading is a joy to me.  I love to read.

That means the hazard is something else.  

What could it be?  The hazard of reading all these good books on love, respect, marriage, faithfulness, praying for one's spouse, submission [yes, it's in there!], among a host of other things is sheer

CONVICTION!!!!!

Every year we home school our children, the Lord brings something else to my attention that needs to be addressed within ME.  I am responsible for my own growth and change in to the godly person the Lord would like me to be.  It it my responsibility to listen to His voice.  Ultimately, I will stand before the Lord and answer for all the times I didn't listen to Him and in disobedience, went off to do my own thing and reaped the ever so painful consequences of my own actions.

Last Monday a lady told me that I must have the patience of a saint to home school my kids.  At the end of the week, I had another dear friend tell me that I have such patience with my husband and his needs.  I am here to confess that I have NO patience whatsoever!  With each day that I read and study more, I am faced with my own sin and resolve to do just a little better.  Does it always work?  No!  I lose it on a regular basis!    I am nothing without the Lord's grace, mercy, love and strength.  I home school my children to give them a better education based on their own needs.  I do not have the patience of a saint, but I do have the grace and mercy of God and with His strength, I can do all things.  

How is the Lord convicting you lately?  

Have a blessed day!

Regina

Autumn, Oh Glorious Autumn!

Things have been quite busy here lately finishing up summer projects, decorating for Autumn and beginning to look toward Christmas plans. 

Today was lovely, gorgeous in fact.  We were invited to our friends' house for a picnic/cookout and what a wonderful time we had.  Our friends are friend my husband has worked with for 6 years and such wonderful people.  We don't often get the opportunity to visit with people my husband works with, but when we get an invitation we try very hard to go. 

Mr. G & JL playing lawn darts.

Of course, as with every party or gathering when there is a fire, you can find my hubby sitting beside it.  He gets such refreshing peacefulness just enjoying a fire.  Who can argue with that?

Many of our days are spent working together, side-by-side or at least in the same room on projects or cleaning while around the fire, or while one is tending the fire the rest of us are getting chores done quickly so we can gather around the fire. 

Time is quickly passing for us to complete our chores for the Fall and get our wood done so we can "batten down the hatches" in preparation for Winter.  My goal is to have everything inside done by October 15th.  I have my various lists.  I need my hubby to help me take care of a few things that only he can do to his specifications, but other than that, I'll do the rest. 

On this final day spent before my next birthday, it is all good.  The good and the not so good.  The Lord is using all things to mould me and grow me.  I praise Him for that.  What lovely thoughts to dwell on!  I know that this evening I was asked, "Weren't your 30's just wonderful?"  I thought for a minute and said, "I had a very turbulent time in my 30's.  I like my 40's much better."  Yes, it is true.  I had just learned about Biblical Submission (you know...the kind that doesn't equate to "doormat" status), and worked and worked and worked and...well, you get the picture...to desperately try to regain lost time.  We'd already been married 10 years when I hit 30, and you know you the story well, I'm sure~"If only I knew this stuff when I was first married we wouldn't have had so much trouble from the beginning!"  I still feel so very convinced that every young lady should learn Biblical Submission before being married because it would make things so much easier than the beginning of my own marriage.  The power struggles, the financial struggles, the words that were not very loving nor kind...

But, looking back I see in the Lord's wonderful and magnificent grace, I had to go through all those things to simply get to this side and realize that He has something more, something beautiful in store for me. 

What does that look like?  I'll save that for another day.