One of the shows, Burn Notice, my husband especially enjoyed so we watched it. Little did I know the effect of the female character in this show on my daughter. The character Fiona is very trim and muscular. She is able to fix anything mechanically and built bombs for the "team" and their various needs. She fights at the drop of a hat and exudes strength for her small frame, doesn't want children, doesn't know what to do around children and with them.
This character and similar types in each show we watched has had a draw for my daughter. My sons were not phased by the shows like my daughter was. She had taken part of the character upon herself and made it her reality. The more I observed her reactions to those types of female characters, the more I noticed a common thread. When reflecting upon situations in the past with doing drama through our home school group, I noticed this same pattern. She lived the characters. She lost herself. She became someone she wasn't, until we realized what was going on and shut those types of shows down.
I can say that I am ultra vigilant now with the TV we watch for this reason. And, for now, she will not be participating in drama. She looses herself in her character and cannot draw the line to differentiate between pretend and reality.
She is 14, however, she has had an experience most of us haven't in that she drowned when she was 22 months old. We don't know how long her brain was without oxygen. We are still finding out the variety of ways her drowning has affected her brain. One of those things that is hidden and the entire depth and breadth of the injury truly isn't fully known until situations arise. I posted a couple days ago about her bedroom. This has been a battle [for me] for years. It isn't disobedience for her to go in to her room to clean and actually clean, but get so overwhelmed by everything that she shuts down. I did not understand why she couldn't go in and just simply clean her room. I would give her lists, breaking everything down for her to do, but by item #3 it was overwhelming to her and she shut down. So now, I'm trying to give her specific things to clean up, then report back to me. I'm finding that the FLYlady way of doing this is very helpful for her. I give her 15 minutes to do two things like make her bed and care for her clothes whether dirty or clean and needing put away. After writing the last sentence, I called her downstairs (away from the room where she could be overwhelmed at this time to purposely remove her from the source of her overwhelming feelings), to see what she's been doing. I gave her "re" direction--declutter her top 2 drawers, put the stuff she decluttered in the give away bag, finish her hair, then come see me. This seems to be working for now. It gets small increments done, takes a little bit longer to do, but it needs to be done.
As I look at my daughter now, I thank God for her life. He's placed her here and saved her life for a reason. I pray for her future husband--that he would be kind and understanding, coming along side her and love her in spite of her brain injury and understand about her need for medication to help control her ADHD, but that it does not cure it, so for now, it would be a lifelong thing she would have to take. Please join me in prayer on her behalf.
She is holding a reticulating python at the Creation Museum in this picture. If you can't tell, she absolutely loved this!
