A couple crashed computers ago, there was a story so real, so raw and filled with emotion that I had to save it. You see, it happened on July 29, 1999. And now that I think about it, my God saved me from looking back to relive that day in all the raw emotion that I had back then by crashing that computer. The story about the day our daughter died and was given back to us again.
The day was gorgeous, hot and sunny. It had been 3 weeks since giving birth to my precious little boy and I really wanted to cool off for a bit in the swimming pool, so did my husband. We packed all 3 of our children up to go to Grandpa's house where he and his wife had a pool. We figured we'd swim for a little while with the kids, then hop out to dry off for a bit, nurse the baby and head home to make dinner.
While we were sitting in the basement watching cartoons with the kids and laughing with Grandpa, Grandma got a phone call and our daughter followed her upstairs to the kitchen. She sat at the counter playing with some cups while Grandma was on the phone. When Grandma got off the phone, she turned around and HJ was gone. She came downstairs to ask if we'd seen her and we didn't. Each of us split up to find her. I went to the lower basement with DA, then 3 and JL 3 weeks. The moment my feet hit the lower basement floor, I knew she was in the swimming pool. I told DA to follow me and he did. I went out to find my husband in the pool going toward my daughter's lifeless body floating face down in the pool with just her diaper on. My Dad was on the side of the pool ready for my husband to hand her to him. Since both my Dad and husband have had CPR and Rescue Breathing and they were first on the scene, I knew I had to call and ambulance. I still had the baby in my arms, but I needed to get DA away from the scene. I asked my step-mother to keep DA out of the pool area and she tried to do that, but was so upset she couldn't think straight.
I called the ambulance and handed the baby off to her so she could hold him and keep DA away from the pool. After getting off the phone, I went out to check on things and she was breathing again after about 45 seconds of CPR and Rescue Breathing, but she was shaking and her pupils were very very tiny. We knew she was going in to shock, so I asked my step-mother to bring us some blankets. Not having had First Aid or how to treat shock, she was more out of it than I thought she would be and had to explain to her what was going on. At that time, my Dad took out his anointing oil and prayed over her for God to restore her.
When I heard the ambulance, I ran out to stand in the middle of the road to flag them. They asked me if it was ok if they went across the grass. I told them, "I don't care about the grass! Right now my daughter's life is in the balance!" They put the oxygen mask on her face and she started screaming. I was right by her ear when that happened and whispered in her ear, "Leave the mask on honey, but you can cry and scream all you want to. This mask has medicine in it to help you feel better." They took a report about what happened and whisked her and my husband off to the hospital. By this time, prayer chains all over the place were activated by loving people who didn't know what else to do for us, but just pray. A couple days after we arrived back home, we found out that one lady saw angels carrying the ambulance that took our daughter to Youngstown, Ohio. We heard report after report of people praying for us and our precious daughter. When God's people pray, God hears them! Angels were everywhere and at every turn in the process of our journey.
From the pool side to the local hospital, we prayed. Then Dad realized he forgot to pray for something when he prayed over her, so he took his oil and anointed her in the ER before the Pediatric EMT's took her. He asked for God's "complete" restoration and healing of her entire mind, body and spirit. It wasn't until 6 months later when we found out that when she was dead, Jesus was standing there beside all of us holding her. She asked Jesus to let her go back to her Mommy and Daddy. I remember leaning over her little body saying to God, "I don't care what it takes, God, just give me back my precious baby girl."
The worst thing in the world next to seeing your child's lifeless body floating face down in a pool, is having to let them go in an ambulance without you because of all the technology they had to bring along with them in the ambulance. They only had room for the 2 people and the gurney she was on. I cried. As we stood outside the ER watching the ambulance drive away with our little girl, I held up my hand and pleaded with God to go with her and be with her when we couldn't.
I don't think I'll ever fully comprehend all that God did that night, but my husband called his parents to come and get our oldest son while I got ready for one of the hardest times of my life--Children's Hospital. We went on auto pilot.
We packed all that we could think of that we would need. The thought never crossed our mind to bring clothes for our daughter at that time. I don't know what we were thinking, but God took care of the details for us. He was already there--2 hours drive away with the doctors and nurses, waiting for us, helping us and taking care of us.
When we arrived at the hospital, we brought the baby with us and told the staff that he was exclusively nursing and there wasn't any way we were going to be without him there. He was such a good baby who would nurse, then sleep for 4 hours at a time. What a totally God thing to do! When he slept, we cared for our daughter. The first night was the most excruciating. The staff told us we could go down the hall outside the PICU and there was a vacant room where we could sleep. Sleep...huh! What an interesting concept. I tried sleeping, but every time I closed my eyes, her lifeless body floating in the pool was there. So, I got up and relieved my husband at 2:30AM. I went in watched all the probes and tubes they had connected to her. Then she started waking up. I called the nurse and she said she'd been waiting for that time to happen. That was when they needed to give her the amnesiac so she wouldn't remember anything that happened to her. I thought, "Oh praise God! She doesn't need to remember any of this!" But, there was the night terrors for 6 months until she could verbalize who "the man" was.
The first morning, we found out that the Ronald McDonald House next to the hospital had room for us, so when our daughter was sleeping, we went over to tour the place, get the information we needed, then hubby left me and JL there to rest while he went to the hospital to be by HJ's side if she woke up. Within a half an hour, she had woken up, sat straight up in her bed and while looking at her Daddy said, "Daddy, I want to go home!" as clear as a bell, then laid back down to sleep.[Up to this point, she was only saying one word at a time for things she wanted. Like "Juice" or "Milk"] Of course, my husband called me to tell me. I was too excited to sleep and packed me and the baby and all his things up to go back to the hospital. I sat there with her sleeping when JL started to stir and needed to nurse and have his diaper changed. She also started to stir because she heard "the baby". She loved her baby brother so much too, so it was easy for her to rouse at the thought of lovin' on her baby brother. While sitting next to her crib with super high bars for their sides, I nursed JL and spoke to her. She asked me, "Baby having *num-nums* Mommy?" I said, "Yes sweet girl, now you lay still and get better so we can go home." Her sweet little voice said, "Ok Mommy. I wubs you!" "I love you so very much baby girl!" She reached her little hand through the metal spindles and held my hand while I nursed her baby brother and cried tears of joy while praying for both of my little ones, as well as my older one who was with his grandparents.
...to be continued...
Here--Resting on the Promises, In His Wings of Love
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