This is, oddly, the choice I had made from the very beginning of my married life. Before I chose to marry my husband, I shared my deepest desire to be a wife and a mother to whatever children the Lord saw fit to bless us with. Back in 1989, to choose to stay home with children, especially living in San Diego, California was almost unheard of. But, my step-mom had done it. Why couldn't I?
When our baby son was born in 1995, I nursed him longer than 2 months. *gasp* I nursed him for 3 years. I nursed him completely through my pregnancy with my daughter AND *gasp* tandem nursed both of them at the same time! My daughter nursed and weaned herself at 13 months old. I had our youngest and he weaned himself at 18 months. I am such a rebel! LOL
After sending our oldest son to preschool for 2 years, we sent him to all day Kindergarten. Within a few months, if not before, it became glaringly apparant that we needed to pull him out of school to homeschool, but my husband was not convinced right away. So, I prayed. I prayed for God to protect my young son, but use a situation with him to completely convince my husband that we needed to home school. God kept my son safe AND convinced my husband. We've home schooled ever since then.
Since that time we've been asked questions like, "Since you've moved to such a wonderful school district, you're going to put your kids in the school, right?" No, we're not. There is no school that could do what we do as parents for our own children. Another statement I field is, "Since they're in High School now, you'll be able to take a break and put them in real school." Uhm, no. We're both knowledgeable people. We can handle this. ;)
In the not so distant future, my husband will be able to retire from his job with the state. Once he's able to retire, we will be moving south. There is a very large chance that we will still have 2 children to home school and provide insurance for, but my husband's heart is to be an herb farmer. With everything that my husband tells me that he feels we should do, I ask him, "Do you feel that the Lord is leading you this way? Do you get that peace?" When he tells me yes, I know that I know...that the Lord has given my husband direction in that way. This is how he feels toward being an herb farmer. My response? "How can I help you accomplish that goal now?"
How does this translate in to being a "black sheep?" We've always gone against the grain, against expectations. What we've done in our home schooling is draw nearer to God. Once we'd done that, we've been so very blessed with peace. Why is that such a black sheep? If your family is use to doing what everyone else does, following the pack, when you divert from that direction you're considered a black sheep. I've stood up for my husband and not let any family members walk all over him in his God given role as head of our home...with "my" side of the family. Some take it well and respect that my husband is the head of our home. They see the fruit that has come from it and have respected our way of honoring God's plan for families. Others haven't spoken to me for almost 3 years. Still others, upon reconnecting after a while of no contact, see that nothing has changed with us and have become reclusive.
I've longed for years to have a close knit family (extended family) who loves one another. The bitterness that is taking hold of the women on my side of the family is so very heart wrenching. The ostrasizing that has been done in this bitterness has caused me to feel more like the black sheep of the family. But, more recently, God has seen fit to bless me with lovely and wonderful Christian sisters who call me, email me and ask me for forgiveness for the smallest things...things that I didn't know existed. *huh* What a blessing this has been for me. Additionally, with changing churches, there have been opportunities to forge new friendships with lovely and wonderful people. People who hold scripture at face value and impliment 2 Timothy 3:16-17. What a blessing! I don't feel like a black sheep any more. The love of Christ that I've found in the love of fellow Christians around me has made me white as snow. It has healed my heart. Although my heart continues to ache for those who are stuck in the mire of bitterness, rebelliousness and manipulation; I am not held by those bonds, but bound by love to my Jesus and His followers.
While this is being written on the 24th, it is being posted on the 26th. The 26th is our 21st wedding anniversary. This week I have posted on my husband's wall on Facebook daily things that I love about my husband. I chose to post on my husband's Facebook wall because....yes, his friends and colleagues see it as well. He is such a blessing to me and I want him to know it...publicly too. This is something that is so very important in a marriage...to build one another up. Never tear each other down...especially in front of others. That shows disrespect and it hurts, even if they did something so minor as to accidentally mow down a lilac bush. A lady a few nights ago mentioned this to me in front of her husband. *sigh* For some reason people feel they have the right to cut one another down publicly. I resolved quite a few years ago to stop doing that and instead build my husband up publicly whenever I have the chance. Is this the entire "secret" to having a marriage that lasts this long? No. But it is a very small part of the whole picture. In a very short synopsis, we've strived to follow God's word on marriage. We're actively pursueing God's will for our lives, right where He's planted us. This takes a lot of selfLESSness and servanthood, which goes against the "worldly grain" for many people. The feministic view of "I have rights" so selfishly proclaimed is very self serving and not God serving.
I've not been able to find this little gift that I wanted to get for him, but we'll see what happens. I have found him a wonderful t-shirt with a cross on it and a watch. Yes, I know...not very spectacular of a gift. But, with my husband he loves Celtic and Gaelic crosses.
He says it is a Maltese Cross that he likes, so I'll be looking around for something like that for him. :0)This shirt has a cross on it that is so very similar to those types of crosses. I'd also like to get him a couple different things, but I won't divulge here right now because he's sure to read this. LOL ;) We are planning to take the kids and go out to eat at a local place in the evening. Yes, we're celebrating this year WITH our children. This was a concious decision for us this year. We go out weekly alone, so we thought that we needed to celebrate together with our children. While none of this stuff seems so very spectacular to some, to us it is lovely. I have gone against the grain, as has my husband for a long time that it actually feels natural to go against the grain. LOL (Yes, you can laugh at that).
How have you gone "against the grain?"
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